Expectations.

We used to be a big bad ass group once upon a time.. but that was really once upon a time. These days when I need my best friend around, don't always find him... Sometimes people will ask you to accompany somewhere and an hour later, and a lot of harrasment they wont even turn up coz they “forgot”. And if I am angry about that then “it doesnt matter that much” to the others who hear about it, and I am again at fault our of nowhere. Whatever other people do unintentional wrong to anyone, if I am even a slightly part of that, noone takes a backseat in blaming me, but its never the other way round. Friends hurt a lot these days. I tried to make out through difficult times. I will stop expecting from even the bestest friends I have got. When people told me not to expect from anyone, I used to point them to my friends and show them a bunch of living expectations, but I think, I should keep my fingers in control from now on.

Friends who have once dreamt with you about the greatest dream an artirst can dream, doesnt miss you anymore and you are now not upto their level because you dont drink or smoke like they do. They dont even miss the warmth when you are having the last handshake. They dont even get time to call up and ask if you are alive or dead. The person you thought you knew through and through can change so much in eight months that you dont even recognise his face or the way he addresses you. I tried to resist “change” that makes you “forget”, but in the end, I was broken to the worst level that I didnt even know where my tears were when I wanted them to come out freely.

I tried living a fairytale, still do, and will do forever, tried to take many things lightly, but learnt that the only thing happens when you take things lightly is that, everyone starts thinking that they can do anything at all and still would be taken lightly, even though it hurts like hell. Among all the jokes, pranks, and mischiefs, sometimes, a moment of silent thinking can work miracles on the matter of valuing friends. I know to myself that I believed and still believe in friendship, but expectations figure out ways to hurt you anyway. When you are a friend to someone, that friendship flourishes as the expectations builds, it gives you rights, and the number of chances increases, but there always remains a threshold, beyond which all the bad things, which were once forgotten, add up to make a mountain of sorrow. The fairytale that I was spinning broke away before it got quite started.

Sometimes, little things done right make us more happy even though big things not done at all, but when in attempt to do big things, the little things gone wrong, can hurt more than the happiness of the big thing even when its perfectly done. I feel that, people should try doing the little things in daily life right, and if along with this, they attempt big things, and fail, doesnt matter much...

No matter how much I help people collect their broken pieces, when it comes to collecting mine, I always find myself alone...

I dont think people will come across this post or blog, but still I write with no expectations at all that someone is going to read this crap.